I wish to live in a world where we actually do what our God wants us to do. I firmly believe that God’s calling sounds the same as the children’s cry for help, the begging of poor people, the shout for justice and pleading for mercy. Look at all the temples we’ve built and yet, the people God created to love sleep in the streets. Look at all the food we’ve offered to the altar and yet, the stomachs of God’s beloved children are empty. Hear all the the songs we sing to worship God and yet, we never speak a word to comfort the mourning ones or to offer forgiveness to the sinners. We can pray for them in secret but we can also show them abundantly the love of God through us.
Reading through my diaries when I was in high school, I realized that I was indeed suffering from depression. The pages were filled with hateful comments about myself by me. Words were blurred by what I can only remember as tears fallen due to my anxiety. Silent requests of death and harm can be found in a journal disguised as a cute notebook. As I scanned through the pages, I recalled the struggles I fought asking God the why’s even to the point of asking God if He even exists.
I thought that I simply wrote what I felt and the only audience I had was myself. I didn’t think of it as a prayer although I addressed most of my entries to God. Yet, He heard them and responded to them through the family and friends who carried me through my sufferings and even strangers who unconsciously lifted my spirits through their heart-warming stories.
These people responded to God’s call whether it was their intention or not. They showered me love and compassion when I needed it. Now, there are people all around me who need the same love and the same compassion to get through this life.
I have nothing against religious traditions. I have nothing against different beliefs. Each of us has a unique way of loving and the same goes for our unique way of worshiping our God. What I simply ask is for us to focus on what God is really calling us to do instead of judging each other’s religious background. Instead of condemning and thinking that it’s God’s will for them to suffer, isn’t it a divine calling to simply respond with love even if they are enemies? Instead of proving that one’s religion is the true religion, wouldn’t it be better to prove a loving God in an unbelieving world? Instead of a sermon and correcting mistakes, isn’t the sight of kindness more glorifying to our God?
“I do not deserve the love of a God,” I wrote in my journal, “and yet I yearn for love all my life.” I believe this is the universal truth for all mankind.